Work is often used as a distraction from grief, but if you lose a coworker, work can
serve as a constant reminder of your loss. We spend about a third of the day with
our coworkers. This can make it very hard when we lose one. Although your
employer can’t shut down your organization to allow you and your
coworkers to mourn the loss of your colleague, here are some strategies to
help you cope.
First, do not judge other people’s reactions based on what you believe their relationship was, or wasn’t, to the coworker you lost. Give others room to grieve on their own, do not push someone to talk about their feelings if they are not ready. For many people, it takes time to be able to talk about how they feel.
If people want to talk, arrange a time or go to lunch to share your feelings with your other coworkers. Having a strong support system will help you navigate through this tough time. Reach out to other coworkers and let them know that you are there for them as well, if they want someone to talk to.
Feel free to reach out to the family. If you attend the funeral, introduce yourself and let them know how you know the deceased. If you send a card or condolence, again let the family know that you were a coworker. This can be as simple as saying that you miss seeing the person at work. If you get a chance to talk with the family, sharing workplace
anecdotes or pictures can give them insight into an aspect of the deceased
that they may not have been aware of.
There are also long lasting ways to pay
tribute to your deceased coworker. You can establish an event to raise money for
their favorite charity or for an organization that raises awareness about the illness
that took their life. You can also ask your employer to name an event, a room or
plant a tree at the workplace after them.
If the loss is traumatic or unexpected (murder, suicide, accidental), complicated grief can require a more
formal type of support like a referral to counseling services, a bereavement
support group or having someone come to the workplace who can help people
express their emotions.