If you ask people how they wish they could improve, many will say “having more self-confidence.” When we are in a new environment or around new people, we are told to “Be or at least act confident,” and everything will be okay. A sort of “Fake it until you make it” strategy. And so self-confidence is seen as one of the biggest keys to success.

Because we want to be perceived as being great at everything and above the standard, we despise being described as average. We aspire to be the nicest, the smartest, or, at the very least, better than most!

It is impossible for everyone to be above average! Think about it. This would just create a scale with a higher average. We often set unrealistically high expectations for ourselves and/or miss appreciating our true abilities and feel inferior. This is why self-compassion is a better alternative.

What is self-compassion? Simply put, self-compassion is accepting your whole self, your strengths and weaknesses and treating yourself with the same kindness and concern that you would show someone that you cared about.

You become your own best ally. You believe the compliments you receive AND also accept the criticisms and feedback. This is because you realize that while you are doing well, and you are… there may be room for improvement.

The best thing about self-compassion is that you get all of the benefits of self-confidence, such as lesser feelings of anxiety and depression, but none of the downsides like social comparison or narcissism. It really is a more positive and objective way to view yourself and to become even better!