When it comes to conflict: What you don’t know can hurt you! Here are five commonly held misperceptions.

1. There is no such thing as productive conflict. Wrong! Conflict is productive when it supports the goals of the group and improves its performance. For example, most innovations come as a result of conflict and to suppress the conflict would result in limited growth. Yes, conflict can be dysfunctional and that is when it hinders group performance and is not managed.

2. Conflict, if left alone, will take care of itself. People believe this and therefore avoid conflict at all costs. This is simply not true. Typically, if the conflict is not addressed it grows and the problem gets worse and worse. This creates more stress to both parties. As a result, tensions rise and resentments build and fester. As a result, a much bigger argument eventually occurs. At that point, often someone explodes and things get blurted out in an angry, hurtful way.

3. The presence of conflict in an organization is a sign of a poor leader. Just the opposite may be true. Often when there is no conflict, avoidance is being practiced because no one wants to “rock the boat” or “get anyone upset.” Effective leaders not only manage conflict but also welcome productive conflict. A strong leader realizes that it is important to encourage people to challenge the status quo, even though there may be short term discomfort.

4. Conflict is a sign of low concern for the organization. What we have found is that when people have low concern there may be very little conflict. They simply don’t care. In fact, the opposite of love is not hate but rather indifference! When someone is passionate about what they do, they will take risks and try new ideas.

5. Confronting an issue or person is always unpleasant. When conflict exists, people feel it. When you take the time to confront a person and share your concerns, it is often met with great relief. What is important is how you confront the person. Share your concerns. Stick to the facts. Stay calm. Don’t exaggerate…and then listen carefully to their response.

Remember no matter how flat the pancake, it still has two sides!