Dear Dr. Mimi:
How do I deal with customers who yell at me? I work for an organization, and there have been some problems with our billing. I have listened to people literally screaming into the phone. It is not my fault, as we are moving to a new system and the kinks are still being ironed out. I have no control, and yet I feel like I am being blamed. —Yelled At

Dear Yelled At:
Of course, my first question is: “What has your organization been doing to head off the crisis?” Have you notified people about what has happened, or are you just waiting for people to “discover” it? In any case, your best response is to simply listen and let your angry customers get it out of their system. When they stop talking, ask if there is anything else that would be important for you to know. Let them know you “feel their pain,” and that the problem is being worked on. Tell the callers you are sorry for their inconvenience. Let them know what you are able to do, but also what you have no control over. If you know when things will be running smoothly again, let them know that as well.

Whatever you do, don’t yell back or escalate the argument. Keep reminding yourself that your job is to listen and calm the angry customers, so that they want to and will remain customers. Your job is not to fix the system. —Dr. Mimi