Surviving Meeting Nightmares

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When you lead a meeting, you’re responsible for your coworkers’ teamwork, their decisions — and their behavior. That means you should also be ready for potential hazards such as differences of opinion, personality conflicts, or even brash and outlandish remarks. Here’s what to do when your meeting devolves into a worst-case scenario.

“If you disagree with an idea, you should…”
Propose a constructive alternative without being immediately dismissive. We recommend the “sandwich technique”: put a piece of constructive criticism (the meat) between two positive or at least neutral statements (the bread). For example: “I see that this is an idea with a lot of potential. One thing we’d have to address is… But let’s look into your idea to make sure that it succeeds.” Relate all critiques — be they yours or others — to the goal of the meeting.

“If tempers flair, you should…”
First listen. Ask others to listen without commenting as well. Then try to calm people down and, if necessary, suggest they leave the room to take a breather.
If conflict between two employees becomes habit, talk to them individually to see if they can’t get their personal differences resolved.

“If someone makes a horribly inappropriate comment, you should…”
If the remark is offensive, you want to directly address the person during the meeting and let them know that what they said was inappropriate. Say something like: “That’s not how we see it here. I want everyone here to understand that I disagree with what’s just been said,and that as an organization we need to do better.” Then say, “Let’s discuss that one-on-one,” or “We can discuss that more later.” It is better to cut them off than to argue with them at the time or to ignore it. Depending on the severity of the comment, it may suffice to simply move on to the next agenda item.

“If someone falls asleep, you should…”
If a person is nodding in and out of sleep, it’s probably best just to leave them alone — they’ll likely come to on their own anyway. However, if someone starts snoring, go ahead and wake them up. It’s not necessary to scold them; the fact that you woke them up will be embarrassing enough. “It must have been a hard night for you. ”

(From “Running Effective Meetings” by Dr. Mimi Hull )


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