Dear Dr. Mimi: My Office Mate Loves to Talk!

January 14, 2015 3:35 pm

Assertiveness, Attitude, Communication, Communication Tips, Dear Dr. Mimi, Difficult Conversations, Difficult Situations, Success

Dear Dr. Mimi:
My office mate loves to talk! In fact, she drops by my desk several times a day to chat, and frankly, I just don’t have the time to spend chatting. She tends to stay late to finish her work. I need to leave on time. What should I do? She is very pleasant and I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
—Disturbed

Dear Disturbed:
Your office mate probably doesn’t realize that you are giving her subtle cues that you are busy, so it is time to be more direct. Go to lunch or find a quiet, confidential place and let her know that while you enjoy her company, you are not free to chat about things that are not related to what you are working on. Also, let her know that it is very important for you to be able to leave on time, and as a result, you have to spend your time working, not chatting, as much as you might enjoy it and her. Suggest that you find time over a monthly lunch or a break to “catch up.” If she still stops by, politely remind her that you can’t talk now and look forward to getting together at another time and then get back to work!
—Dr. Mimi

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