Think about the people that you like. Usually, these people are good listeners. We like the people who listen and one thing that most good listeners do is ask questions. Research has shown that there is a positive relationship between asking more questions and likability. People who ask more questions are seen as more responsive. They focus on others in the conversation and seek information from them. There is an art to good questioning.

Be sure to: Know what you want to find out so you can construct your question appropriately. Don’t ask something if you don’t care about the answer. Your boredom will show!

Ask open ended questions that invite people to say more than one or two word answers. Use beginning phrases like “Why, How, Tell me more…”

Don’t interrupt. Let people finish their thoughts even if you “know” what they are going to say.

Ask follow-up questions. Use something in their answer to frame your next question. It show that you listened!

Avoid leading questions. If you want someone’s opinion, ask it without giving yours. “What did you like about the conference?” is better than “That was a great conference, wasn’t it?”

Avoid jargon and phrases that you might know the meaning of, but they don’t. If someone doesn’t seem to understand what you are asking, try rephrasing it.

Asking questions is good, but asking too many, or the wrong type of, questions can be more harmful than helpful. You don’t want to sound like you are interrogating them!