1. Consider your response to rights vs. needs vs. wants.
2. Stick to issues and behaviors.
3. Say what you mean in specific terms (we can’t read minds).
4. Avoid debate.
5. Establish emotional boundaries (standards of behavior).
6. Invite critical feedback.
7. Develop respectful responses to disrespectful behavior.
8. Do not shoulder the blame for criticisms that are not yours to own.
9. Listen with respect and respond with care.
10. Initiate contact with, “Specifically, how can I be helpful to you?
11. Maintain your focus on, “We can work this out.”
12. Be congruent – words, tone actions.
13. Give people a way out. Establish choices.
14. Count to 10. Use silence to increase your calm. It’s valuable to “leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
15. Breathe. Fully breathe for calm and for conveying steadiness and confidence.
15 Tips for Prickly People:
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Dear Dr. Mimi – Backup
Dear Dr. Mimi,My boss favors another employee and schedules them for more shifts. We are on the same skill level and have had the same training, but I am being treated like a “backup” for them. I am afraid to bring this up to my manager for fear that they will reprimand or even fire…
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Dear Dr. Mimi – Overworked Student
Dear Dr. Mimi,I am a working college student, and my company is supposed to be accommodating to students’ schedules. However, my boss keeps asking me to come into work at times she knows that I have classes or study groups. I have tried to make this issue known to her, but she keeps dismissing me.…
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Dear Dr. Mimi — Frustrated
Dear Dr. Mimi,I trained a new employee about a month ago, but they still don’t seem to be getting it. They mess up almost every task I give them. What can I do to fix this? Should I just fire them?—Frustrated Dear Frustrated,It can be tricky working with new employees. If you think they are…
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