Dear Dr. Mimi:

I called a company today that I do business with and was greeted with, “Hi, Susan.” When I suggested to the customer service rep that she call me “Mrs. Smith,” she said that her directions were to call customers by their first name in order to build a feeling of informality and friendliness. I am tired of having people who don’t know me call me by my first name. Am I out of touch? What is the correct way to address someone with whom you have simply a business relationship and not a personal relationship? I swear people no longer value manners or display appropriate business etiquette.

—Call Me “Mrs.”

Dear “Mrs. Smith”:

We are living in an increasingly informal world, and people often have not been taught appropriate etiquette. I have been asked to train more and more business people on matters similar to this. Having said that, the practice of calling people by their first name is becoming more common. However, a good customer service person will ask what their client, patient or customer would like to be called and will note that preference for future reference.  It’s never safe to make assumptions about what name a person prefers. For example, my given name is Miriam, and when people call me that, I immediately know that they don’t know me. In fact, calling me by my formal name instead of my preferred name of Mimi hampers rather than helps build the relationship. For the most part, it is better to err on the side of more respect than less. In other words, start with the more formal name—like “Mrs. Smith”—and then ask what name the person prefers.

—Dr. Mimi