Dear Dr. Mimi:

We have a bully in our office. He is in sales and a top producer. I do not want to lose him. However, when he has a bad day or a bad week, he becomes mean, loud and ugly to his coworkers and even to me. He does not bully his customers, thankfully. How can I better handle this?

—Bullied … And I Am a Manager!

Dear Bullied:

It is time to stand up and deal with the bully. Do not stay silent. The silence, shame and denial accompanying workplace bullying are exactly what the bully needs to succeed. If, as a manager, you continue to tolerate his behavior, you are setting a poor example and tacitly agreeing with and rewarding his behavior.

Track each incident. Note the behaviors, the date, time and nature of each infraction. This helps you avoid vague claims like, “You’re a bully,” “You are too aggressive” or “You are rude to coworkers.”

Approach the individual and request a private meeting at his convenience. Do not deal with this in front of other employees, because this adds tension and can draw others into the conflict. Bring a copy of your personal notes to the meeting. Calmly and professionally explain every incident in detail. Tell him why his behavior hurts you and ask him to stop. The key here is diplomacy. Let him know that this behavior will not be tolerated and future infractions will result in disciplinary action.

—Dr. Mimi