Dear Dr.Mimi: Personality Problems

Dear Dr. Mimi:

We have a mid-size office and, for the most part, we get along quite well. However, we have been having some “personality conflicts” between various members of our staff. I keep getting complaints like, “Mary and Nancy talk too much, and I can’t get my work done,” or “Bob is so nitpicky that we are getting behind.” My typical reaction is to say, “Work it out among yourselves.” However, I am noticing that the problem is not going away and the atmosphere is getting tenser. Should I get involved? If so, are there any interventions that would be helpful?

— Hands Off

Dear Hands Off:

Misunderstandings and communication problems remain one of the most common sources of office friction, and interpersonal difficulties are magnified when conflicting work styles coexist in one setting. If these issues are not addressed and resolved, they will continue to get worse. Respect occurs in an atmosphere of understanding and good communication. It is apparent that neither is happening here. So yes, this may be a time when you need to get involved and/or hire a facilitator. When we are called into these types of situations, we find that there really are personality issues and that there needs to be increased understanding, communication and utilization of different work styles. There are a variety of tools that can be used to help resolve these types of issues. Two of my favorites are the MBTI®, also called the Myers-Briggs, and the other is the DiSC®. Once people know why people do what they do, respect will often follow, and ultimately the differences are viewed as opportunities. People learn to adapt their behavior to meet the needs of the situation and the needs of their coworkers. The best news is that the office becomes more productive and people are less tired at the end of the day.

—Dr. Mimi


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