Dear Dr. Mimi:
I am a poor listener. Now my employees are complaining, and as much as I would like to tell them they are wrong, they are not! My mind wanders and I forget what was said, or even worse, I interrupt people and start telling my story. It is a bad habit, and one I really need to fix. Do you have any helpful hints?
—Signed, Huh???

Dear Huh:
         You are not alone. Most people have had training on other forms of communication but not listening. By recognizing you have a problem, your chance of improving is increasing!
         If I had to give you one thing to do, it would be to pay attention. We live in a world of distractions. Work to reduce them. Do not try to multitask when someone is talking. It just doesn’t work. Give the speaker your full attention, which at first will be painful to do.
         Learn your listening style. Do you know what you listen for and what you tune out? If not, consider taking our Personal Listening Profile. Simply discovering your listening style will give you tremendous insights into your listening strengths and challenges.
         Watch body language. There are a couple of effective tools to remember about body language. If the body language and the words are incongruent, the body language is probably more accurate. Be sure to catch the speaker’s eye and then break the contact with a polite nod of your head. This shows that you are interested and paying attention.
         Play the listening mind game. Try accumulating as much information as possible without revealing anything about yourself. This game will teach you to avoid thinking about your own stories and opinions while the speaker is talking. The greatest gift you can give another is your undivided attention.
—Dr. Mimi