People often fear and resist feedback, especially negative feedback. However, it is important to think of feedback as important data or even a gift that can help you improve. It often takes the giver of the feedback a lot of nerve and strength to let you know what they are or have been thinking. So, how can you better receive and use feedback?
• Look for the truth in the feedback. Sometimes we have a tendency to shut down, reject or zone out when we hear negative feedback. What the person is saying may be the truth and this could be your blind spot. In other words, even if you are not be aware of what is happening, others may be.
• Consider the intent of the person giving the feedback. Is their intent to help you or hurt you? Don’t confuse the message with the messenger. If they are giving you a chance to improve then their purpose is to help you. Having said that, if the feedback is malicious, and they are not your supervisor, you can always ignore that person’s comments.
• Try not to take it personally. Think about the behaviors that are being mentioned and how you can work to change and improve them.
• Ask for the positives. If you are receiving feedback from a person who is only focusing on the negatives, ask them what they see as your strengths and how you can build on your strengths to correct the things that need changing.
Make feedback a cornerstone of your life. Remember no one is perfect. However, if we strive for excellence, seeking out feedback and applying the information can be both helpful and productive.
(From “Resolving Conflict,” a workshop by Dr. Mimi Hull)