Dear Dr. Mimi:
I am a new manager and don’t know when I should give feedback and when I should let things go. Should I wait for the annual performance review? That can be months away, and meanwhile, the behavior is driving me crazy. Can you give me some suggestions?
—Silent But Stewing

Dear S But S:
If the annual performance review is in January, and you start noticing the undesirable behavior in February, don’t wait to tell them! Some employees who start withdrawing from their organization do so because their employer waited to put the criticism in writing instead of giving them a chance to correct it before it got to that point. Employees who know their errors sooner appreciate the second chance.
Here are some clues that constructive feedback is needed. The first is the one you already hinted at. If you are stewing and feeling uncomfortable about not saying something, your actions may already be sending a message of dissatisfaction, and when that is the case, your employees typically sense something is wrong, but don’t know what to do to fix it. It’s time to let them know. In addition, one of the side effects of not giving feedback when you feel there is a need is that there is a greater tendency to later explode in anger. That can be devastating to all involved.
Another clue that it is time for feedback is when someone is making repeated errors or an employee’s performance doesn’t meet your expectations. Bad habits get formed and the longer you wait, the harder it will be to fix them. Be sure to let them know what they are also doing correctly so that good habits can develop as well. As hinted about, feedback doesn’t have to be negative. When someone does something well, even if it is not way above and beyond your expectations, let them know it. One more clue is listening when your employees ask for your opinion. Employees often crave feedback but are subtle in their request for it. Listen for comments like, “How did you like when we … ?” or, “Did this project go the way you hoped?” When you hear these types of questions, that is a great opening to give the feedback that you want to give and they want to hear.
—Dr. Mimi