Conflict is inevitable. In fact, for a team to be fully engaged, conflict is an important component. The trick is to know how to make the conflict work for you and ultimately produce positive results.
1. Separate yourself from the issue and don’t view differences as personal attacks. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you, doesn’t mean they hate you or think you are a bad person.
2. Make sure there really is a disagreement and not a case of misinterpretation. Go back and check what was meant, rather than what was said. This is especially true if you are using e-mail or some other non-face to face communication. The chance of the messages being misunderstood is great when you don’t have the tone of voice or body language.
3. Work to understand the other person’s point of view before you try to get them to understand yours. The better you know someone’s position the better you may be able to address their concerns.
4. Use a lower voice. This reduces tension and forces the other person to listen to you, and allows you to gain a psychological advantage in the discussion. Lower voices command authority.
5. Agree to disagree. Sometimes you cannot get consensus and you have to live with something that you don’t agree with. Make the best of it!
6. Watch what you say and always be professional. You can’t take back the spoken word. Something said in haste can create long term pain.
7. After the disagreement is resolved put it behind you. There is no point to holding onto resentments. The only person that a grudge hurts is the person who is holding it!
(From Conflict Management Program –
Dr. Mimi Hull)