Saying “I’m sorry” is an expression we’ve become too good at, and it is often said with little soul searching or meaning. As a result, it has become a common response to the littlest offenses and even worse, a space filler that has virtually no meaning. Good apologies are hard to come by. They involve both parties having a conversation. A sincere apology is hardly ever second nature or impulsive. Here are a few tips on how to reduce the word ‘sorry’ from your vocabulary:

1) “Sorry” is not a word to fill the silence; be creative with the words you use.
Instead of: “I’m sorry, do you have a second?”
Try: “Excuse me…”

2) Empathy can be displayed through understanding someone’s feelings without apologizing for them. Use “feeling words” to better relate to others.
Instead of: “I’m sorry you were stuck in traffic.”
Try: “How frustrating it must have been being caught in traffic.”

3) Apologizing to a co-worker for asking a question and/or task of them is not necessary. It is important to speak to them in an appropriate way, without saying the word “sorry.”
Instead of: “Sorry but can you…”
Try: “I appreciate you doing a great job on ____. I will also need your help on ____.”

You are human. You will make mistakes. So what do you say if you really do need to give an apology?

First and foremost, be proactive. If you know you’ve made a mistake, admit it.

Be sincere. Make sure your body language and tone of voice also deliver the heartfelt apology.

Be brief. Don’t drag it out. Get to the specific point as quickly as you can. You don’t need to give a huge history.

Share solutions. How can it be fixed? What have you done to make amends? What would you do differently if you are given a second chance?

Be quiet. Let the other person talk and then listen without interrupting, especially if they are showing a lot of emotions.

And lastly, learn from your mistakes. Don’t do it again!!!