Angry people are hard to deal with. Remember, as emotion goes up, rationality goes down! The trick is to allow them to express themselves while not getting emotional. As they rant, breathe in and out slowly to keep yourself calm and do the following:
1. Let them talk first. They won’t listen to you until they can express their point of view.
2. Don’t say, “Calm Down.” If they could, they would.
3. Ask if you can take notes while they are talking. It shows that you want to remember what they are saying.
4. Write down exactly what they are saying using their words.
5. Listen intently without interrupting.
6. Keep thinking, “We can work this out.”
7. Do not accept blame for criticisms that are not yours to own.
8. Ask what they want you to do. They may not want you to do anything. They may just want to be heard.
9. Develop respectful responses to disrespectful behavior.
10. Stick to the issues and behaviors.
11. Say what you mean in very specific and concrete terms. Avoid generalities.
12. Establish choices. Give people a way out.
13. Invite critical feedback after you speak.
14. Avoid debate.
15. Use silence to increase your calm. It’s valuable to leave unsaid the
wrong things at this tempting moment